May25

Vietnam is More Than a War: Guest Post by Leah DeCesare

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Vietnam is More Than a War: Guest Post by Leah DeCesare

 Leah DeCesare is a Doula, writer and mother of three, to find out more about her check out her Mother’s Circle Blog.

The Author, Leah DeCesare

Photo by Leah DeCesare

When you hear Vietnam, do you immediately think “war”?  It was the first word association I had when I heard my parents were planning to visit Vietnam for a vacation. Months later, through a series of lucky events, I ended up going in place of my Dad.

War has, indeed, been a repeating theme in Vietnamese history and without a doubt, the Vietnam War is more present and visible there than in the US, but traveling there, we also got a glimpse into the complexities and treasures of a culture and a people that run deeper than what they call the American War.

We landed in Hanoi at 10:00 pm on February 1, 2012, haggard and fatigued after the long flights, we met up with our tour group and guide, Quang, a 47 year old for whom, by the end of our time together, we would feel a special affection.

Photo by Leah DeCesare

Since this was a tour group and planned for people more my parents age, it turned out that Quang and I were closer in age than the others. As he shared his life stories, I found myself continually figuring out what I was doing while he was swimming in flooded bomb craters during the rainy season or what it would feel like to have my brother leave home for another country, facing pirates and dangers, never to see him again.

 

Photo by Leah DeCesare

What kind of parallel did his life have to mine growing up only 5 years apart? The comparisons were dramatic, I was safe, doing homework, school activities and swimming at beaches, my family was together, and in the post-war years, I happily studied at college and lived a carefree, peaceful, and fun-filled life. Quang grew up with the war.

Photo by Leah DeCesare

Photo by Leah DeCesare

In moving detail, Quang told us of his decision to try to flee his country, a decision that meant he was leaving his family behind for an unknown future. After extensive planning, while bobbing in the dark in a tiny row boat, he watched as the boat that was supposed to stop for him continued past. Devastated, he retraced his steps stealthily, hiding in shoreline brush, making his way back home without being detected to his relieved parents.

All while I worried about my marketing class project or my statistics exam.

Our group toured many key historical locations associated with the war: the prison known as “Hanoi Hilton,” Reunification Palace where Ho Chi Minh’s tanks crashed through the front gates, the elaborate, narrow Cu Chi Tunnels, a small section of the tunnel system used by the Viet Cong army.  We saw old American ships being used by current day river police and abandoned US airplane hangars in Da Nang, we swam and walked along China Beach, one site where our troops took R&R. Signs of the American War were everywhere.

 

Photo by Leah DeCesare

These and many other places were important and critical to see and experience as Americans in Vietnam, but we also learned about an other Vietnam, one independent of, and pre-dating America.  We got acquainted with the Cham people, visited vibrant (and smelly) local markets and floating river markets, we experienced traditional Vietnamese dance and music and played a unique instrument, the Mono Chord, we watched water puppetry, an art form that dates back to the 11th century. From the foods, the silks, the rice paddies and the people, to the cyclo rides, pagodas, temples and the natural beauty of Ha Long Bay, we experienced a Vietnam that had nothing to do with “the War.”

Group Guide Quang; Photo by Leah DeCesare

Yes, Vietnam is a war-scarred nation, but it’s not defined by the war. The people continue to heal and unite, and those who fought against the communist regime live side by side with former Viet Cong soldiers. Increasingly, a “market economy” (i.e. capitalism) is flourishing and tourism has grown markedly in recent years reaching 6 million visitors in 2011.

Through serendipity or some plan of the universe, I ended up in Vietnam, and because of those 20 days, I now hold this Southeast Asian country in my heart. “War” is no longer my first thought when I hear “Vietnam” and I have a friend in Ho Chi Minh City.

The Author of this post Leah DeCesare is a Doula, writer and mother of three, to find out more about her check out her Mother’s Circle Blog.

 

 

 

 

May21

5 Great Father’s Day Gift Ideas

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5 Great Father’s Day Gift Ideas

Less than a month away, June 17th is right around the corner, so to help you start thinking about what to give this Father’s Day I’ve picked out a five favorite Father’s Day gift ideas that have caught my eye:

 

1. If the dad in your life likes cutting edge technology like my husband and father-in-law do, then he might love the new Lytro camera that uses light field technology to focus your picture after you have taken it!

 

 

2.    Tom’s Sunglasses 

 

 

 

A cool pair of sunglasses make a great Father’s Day gift.  The Tom’s motto is:  “One for One”, and you may have heard about the shoes before, but now Tom’s is making glasses too.  For every pair of these cool looking frames bought, one pair of  eye glasses will go to someone who needs them.

 3. Anything Apple, iPad, iPhone, iPod, idon’t care what it is, if he doesn’t have one he probably wants one.  The cool thing is that for no additional charge Apple will laser engrave a personal message onto the back of whichever one you choose.

4. The world traveler and photographer will love the photography book Steve McCurry: The Unguarded Moment 

 

 

 

5. Something fun like:

Math Symbol Cufflinks

 

 

 

 

A Cool Tie

 

 

 

 

 

or  The bottle Opener (for that engraved iPhone you got him)

 

Of course all dads love the homemade gifts and cards from the kids, so these suggestions are in addition to those! Any other great gift ideas for Father’s Day? I’d love to hear more.

May19

Arabian Feasts, KSA part 4

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Arabian Feasts, KSA part 4

A huge part of any foreign travel for me is the opportunity to taste different cuisines.  The food we experienced on our trip to Saudi Arabia last month was as consistently abundant as it was delicious.  I would describe the traditional dishes we tasted as Middle Eastern with a touch of Indian flavor. Our first night we went to the Fakher Dein Palace restaurant on the 11th floor of the Faisaliah Tower. I was enchanted by the interior set to feel like a tented desert palace, and from the outdoor balcony we could see beautiful sweeping views of the vast city on three sides of the building.  It was the perfect beginning on our first night in Riyadh. The buffet style allowed us to try an assortment of dishes.  We sat inside the tented decor,  and on the balcony just outside our window sat a group of young twenty something girlfriends.  They ate and laughed, and took tons of photos together and of each other.  Only their eyes were visible through their hijabs, but other than the way they were dressed, they reminded me of myself with a group of friends on a typical girls night out.

 

 

Dragon Fruit

Breakfast in our hotel was also a grand buffet that served both western and Saudi cuisine.  My favorite part of the breakfast assortment was the daily fresh honeycomb that was set out to be sliced into by the guests. My other favorite was the always-present delicious kiwi tasting fruit that I had never heard of before (I love coming across a new fruit!) called a Pitaya or Dragon Fruit, which is imported to the KSA from Asia.

Holding the Oud burner

One night we were taken to a traditional Saudi Arabian meal at Najd Village. Housed in historic mud brick architecture with an open courtyard in the middle, meals are served in the custom of sitting on the floor.  We were the only foreigners in the place, and with women in the party we had been directed to enter through the back “family entrance”.  The meal began with the tradition of  Qahwa (Arabic coffee) and dates being served.  The food was laid out family style over a long runner on the floor. Food served in this manner is customarily eaten with the right hand or with bread.  We passed around dishes of hummus, Baba ghanoush, and Tabbouleh, to be dipped into with flat breads called Fatir and Kimaje.  Entrees of Kapsa, a traditional chicken and rice dish, and mild curried stews of lamb, beef or potato were passed around and accompanied by Saudi style rice as we each tried to taste from the multitude of offerings.  After the meal a chalice of burning incense made of wood chips and called Oud was passed around to each person twice, and we were encouraged to let the smoke permeate our clothes to leave it’s perfumed scent.

On our penultimate evening in the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia we were taken to a palace for dinner.   We ate in Al Orjouan restaurant at the the Ritz-Carlton Hotel in Riyadh. The Ritz resides in a royal palace built to entertain guests and dignitaries, supposedly for the king, which for some sort of security reason was never utilized by the royal family.  The Ritz-Carlton opened there in 2011.  I have never stepped foot into such an opulent space. This structure and its details make the Newport Mansions look like cabins.  Massive buffet stations sprawled through the restaurant, and because this was a festive occasion we were given glasses of Saudi Arabian “champagne”. Alcohol is forbidden in the Muslim religion, and is illegal in the KSA, so Saudi champagne tasted like the fizzy white grape juice we have at home.   In the courtyard of the hotel lives a beautiful knotted olive tree estimated to be around six hundred years old. In the last hundred years that olive tree has stood witness to the transformation of Saudi Arabia from a nomadic tribal culture to a bursting modern city.  In modern day Riyadh you can find many different types of food, including an array of American chain restaurants.  Through the changed  the traditional cuisine has maintained its long standing regional integrity, and many of the same dishes served in tents a hundred years ago are still commonly eaten here today.  It is all so tasty, I can see why.

 

 

 

 

May15

Portrait of Mommy

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Portrait of Mommy
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Portrait of me by my daughter "yelling about the messy playroom"

I think of myself as a pretty laid back mom, and by nature I’m not a yeller, so years back when my oldest daughter returned from art class with a portrait of  me looking like a screaming maniac, I was sure there must have been a mistake.  She took the class with three friends, and there was some confusion over whose portrait was whose.  Three were of serene smiling mothers, and then there was this.  One of the other moms actually was a yeller, so I knowingly looked around the group and told them I though there was a mix up.    My daughter cleared the air by confirming that it was in fact her portrait of me yelling about the messy playroom.  Of course as I slunk away I told her I loved it, and commended her on her originality.  I sincerely meant both compliments, but a part of me caught the first glimpse of how she saw me through her child’s lens, and I had to laugh.  Sure I am a laid back person, and I swear am not a yeller, but many a mom has caught herself losing her cool at her kids about something, and then thinking “who is this raving lunatic the kids are turning me into? This is so not me!”  This portrait just may be my favorite piece of artwork that hangs in our home; it forces me to laugh at myself every time I see it.

I was harder hit a year later when in the same week my daughter brought home a family crest where I was represented by a mop and pail, and my son brought home a cute Mother’s Day card where he finished the sentence “My mother loves to…..” with “wash the dishes“.

 

As disheartening as these depictions of me were I knew that they were completely honest, innocent assessments.  I thought back to how I viewed my own mother as a kid, and from what I remember,  I was only vaguely aware of her as a woman outside of her role as my mom. The first time I recall feeling deep pride and admiration for her accomplishments was when we were writing the text for our wedding invitations, and I realized that as a Ph.D. her proper title was “Dr.” not “Mom”. I guess it took me a while, and still it wasn’t until after I had my own children that I could truly appreciate her in full.   I can’t expect my kids to see me other than through the paradigm of their childish inner world.  Most kids by nature are egocentric creatures.   Most of the time my kids perceptions of me serve as moments of humility, but they can just as easily put me on a pedestal like no one else can.   I have to laugh at the truth in their observations, because no commentary is as candid as a child’s.  This recent portrait of me by my youngest son is a new favorite.  Here he managed to capture the essence of me in the morning with perfection. Certainly this is how I feel before that first cup of coffee.  The funny ones are my favorites, but every now and then a piece of art comes home that just melts my mommy heart into a puddle, and that is the power of kids art.

 

 

(I had to throw in this one where I am listed as 6' tall and 100 pounds)

May11

Delicious White Chocolate Fruit Tart Recipe!

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Delicious White Chocolate Fruit Tart Recipe!

This is one of my favorite dessert recipes because it looks as good as it tastes.  I’ll never forget when my friend Karen Vernacchio walked into a dinner party carrying it years ago. I could not believe she had made that beautiful fruit tart herself, and certainly did not believe her when she said it was actually easy to make!

She was kind enough to share her recipe with me back then, so you really have her to thank for what I am about to share with you.  It has since become my staple, simple yet elegant dessert for entertaining. I am grateful to her every time I make it. I even keep the non-perishable ingredients in my pantry, (I almost always have milk, butter and cream cheese in my fridge) so in a pinch I can just grab the fresh berries and whip it up.

 

White Chocolate Fruit Tart

Tart crust:

¾ c. softened butter

1 ½ c. confectioners’ sugar

1 ½ c. flour

Filling:

1 bag White chocolate chips

1 (8 oz.) pkg. cream cheese

½ c. milk

Topping:

Kiwi, blueberries, blackberries and strawberries

(These are my usual toppings but Karen has made it with bananas, and I have made it with pineapple too, so it is really whatever design you come up with)

Glaze:

¼ c. sugar

1 T. cornstarch

½ c. pineapple juice

Preheat oven to 300. Beat the butter and sugar until light and fluffy.  Blend in flour.  Press mixture into 12 inch round tart pan, or pizza pan.  Bake 20 min. until lightly browned.  Cool completely.  In a saucepan, melt chocolate and milk until smooth.  Add cream cheese and mix until smooth.  Spread over crust to cool.

 Arrange kiwi, and berries on top of filling.  In a saucepan, combine sugar and cornstarch, stir in Dole pineapple juice. Stir constantly until thick. Drizzle over fruit topping. Refrigerate for at least 1 hour until it has set.