Jun29
Jun23
Turns Out It Really Is A Weed Patch!
My weeds.
Remember how I dazzled you all a few weeks ago with the little kitchen garden I had planted? I was so proud, and wondered at the folly of getting what appeared to be green bean seeds in the soil, since I had what appeared to be green beans popping up amongst my tomatoes and cucumbers. Well……it turns out that my garden really is just a weed patch because those are in fact just weeds!! Come on you have to admit these do look like baby green beans, right?!
Andy comes and buffs my wood floors on occasion,
This totally looks like a green bean, right!? (kind of tastes like one too)
which does wonders for the upkeep of the hardwood with four kids and a dog. Andy also happens to be a Master Gardener, and while my husband and I sat together outside drinking our coffee the other morning, Andy came out and stated verbatim, “Liz, (he calls me Liz) next year I am going to help you turn that laughing stock of a garden of yours into a thing of beauty”. Really to say this in front of my husband was fueling the fire of his ridicule towards my gardening skills in a big way. It validated all of his doubts, and even more so when Andy informed me that my “Green Beans” were in fact weeds that I need to pull.
I felt defeated as I pulled out my fake green beans, leaving huge gaps in the layout of my garden. As I was thinking that maybe I really will never be the gardener I hope to be, I glanced over at the cherry tomato plant to see a cluster of green baby tomatoes dangling from the vine, infusing me with hope.
Tomatoes of hope!
Yes, I’m a tad bit humiliated, but it is hard to trample the spirit of an eternal optimist, especially when I’m given a sliver of hope like my tomatoes. This year my little weed patch of a garden will produce a handful of tomatoes and I’m sure some cucumbers. The chives, sage and basil are already thriving. Next year, Andy has promised to help me turn my garden around, he offered one season of help, and then it’s up to me.
Jun21
The Truth Behind Our Family Photo Shoot
Photo by Michelle Amarante
As summer approaches it is time for me to start thinking about when to book the photographer for our annual family picture. If you look at the photo smiling out at you from our yearly holiday card, taken on an idyllic beach, you’ll see six happy faces of a family clutching each other with love. Every year I schedule a family photo shoot to get that picture. Every year we get one. I mean JUST ONE. Out of the hundreds of pictures the photographer snaps, there is usually only one photograph where we are all happy, and looking presentable enough to send out to everyone we know. The rest, the outtakes, tell a different story. They tell the truth behind all those happy smiling family photo cards you get in the mail each year. If you have a family of your own, with small children, and have been through this process, you know what I’m talking about. They are much more work than the ease conveyed in the final photo.
Outtakes from back when we only had two kids to wrangle!
Photo by Odessa Cozzolino
It begins at home hours before we leave. I run around and pull together complimentary outfits for everyone. Each year I come up against protests about the outfits from the girls as though I had asked them to be tarred and feathered. The boys have usually outgrown what I’ve laid out, since they wear their white button down dress shirts so infrequently, and they can’t stand having to change outfits. The kids complain and drag their feet, and it takes much shouting and cajoling to get everyone in the car. By this point I have usually given up on the complimentary outfits, and the neat hair. Around this time I may even be reduced to shouting something childish like “Fine! I don’t care what the rest of you look like in the picture as long as I look good!” As we drive to the beach, my husband is getting cranky due to all the bickering and back talk. He questions the need for the professional family photo, and usually chooses this moment to find out what it is costs. Now my husband and I are bickering too. I try to remind him that the outcome will be worth it. When we arrive at the beach, I am already apologizing to the photographer for our motley state. As we begin to try to pose, at least one child is freezing and miserable. We bribe, threaten and tickle to get the desired simultaneous smiles from all four kids. Last year we added our, as yet untrained dog to the chaos. He was kicked out of the family photo after about 5 minutes for stepping on one of the kids and making them cry. Once again, we ultimately got the shot. Just one (almost) perfect photo of our precious family, and the dog even made it in. Having that one picture that captures the moment in time is so worth all the trouble we go through to get it. We cherish the time line of our growing family that we now have, and we can laugh when we scan back over the years of our family pictures, knowing the chaos that went into capturing them. In turn we love getting our friends holiday cards with pictures of their kids each year, and look forward to seeing how our friends families have grown as well. Just for the record, the smiling faces don’t fool us, we know what may have gone into getting that happy family picture!
This post was revised from a version previously posted on www.amomknowsbest.com
Jun17
Remembering My Dad On Father’s Day
A few years back I bought some Concord grapes at the market. I hadn’t tasted them in years and surprised myself as the flavorful berry burst in my mouth and I burst into tears. When I was a kid my father had cultivated Concord grapevines up the side of our garage. Apparently my memory of him was intrinsically intertwined with the taste that burst forth from inside that grape. Since he passed away when I was 13 I am left with gauzy recollections…much like peering out from behind the bee nets we would wear to help harvest honey from his beehives. He was a beekeeper, among other things. As a physician and small plane pilot, he had served as a flight surgeon in the Army. He was a wood-worker, a craftsman, and gardener. He was the father who had nurtured me until I became a teenager, and then was gone.
Me and my dad
As an adult I realize now, that I missed out on truly getting to know him as a person, as only grown children can know their parents. My insight into the man he was comes from the clues I collected over the years. An eccentric for sure, to house 5 stacked beehives in an urban ¼ acre backyard. I remember him reading constantly, many books and periodicals at the same time, and the thousands of books in our home were a testament to his love of them. I discovered the mysterious root of my wanderlust when I found his massive collection of adventure travel books. He was an armchair traveler, and that somehow planted a seed that then took me around the world.
I do remember the feeling of missing the security that having a father allows you. Some umbrella of protectiveness shut with his loss; I so envied those who had that. Truth be told, I still do. A father’s strong love is unique and irreplaceable.
In time, I was fortunate to gain an amazing father-in-law. He is also a renaissance man, a physicist, artist and author. Most importantly, he is father to my husband, also a renaissance man in his own right, and an incredible father to our own four kids. I can see how my father-in-laws’ influence and brilliance nurtured my husband and my equally amazing sister-in-law. With the advent of our own children, these two fathers in my life give us so much to celebrate on Father’s Day. I am incredibly grateful for the presence and influence of an remarkable father and grandfather in my children’s’ lives.
My oldest daughter is now thirteen, the age I was when my own dad passed away. My husband and I marvel at that fact. I try to see my thirteen-year-old self in her, and reach back to find those memories of that age to peer through her lens. I wonder at how we are shaped by our parents in childhood as if through osmosis, only become aware of some of those influences, as we become parents ourselves. As we prepare to celebrate Father’s Day, no matter where your father is , or what your relationship may be, take this day to cherish just having had him in this world and in your life.
These days when I eat Concord grapes I know what to expect ,and I let my beautiful, gauzy memories flood back in.
A different version of this post previously appeared on www.amomknowsbest.com
Jun16
Every Child Deserves A #5thBDay
Me turning 5 years old
Every Child Deserves a Fifth Birthday. Preventable infectious diseases cause most child deaths under the age of 5 years old on a global level. Over the past 50 years, there has been major progress; child mortality has been reduced by 70%. This is largely due to high-impact tools and interventions for child survival; most notable are new vaccines, distribution of mosquito nets, and more community health workers. The USAID Child Survival Summit and Call to Action brought 700 International Leaders to Washington D.C. to meet June 14th and 15th to renew their commitment to ending preventable child deaths. See what Hillary Clinton and Ben Affleck had to say at the summit in the below video:
Click Image to Play Video
With four children of my own this issue hits home for me, I feel fortunate to have access to good healthcare for my family. I can only imagine the anguish as a mother to not have that access to easily preventable diseases.
My oldest daughter at age 5
May all the worlds’ children have the opportunity to celebrate their 5th birthday.
