Category Archives: Family

Jun21

The Truth Behind Our Family Photo Shoot

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The Truth Behind Our Family Photo Shoot

Photo by Michelle Amarante

As summer approaches it is time for me to start thinking about when to book the photographer for our annual family picture. If you look at the photo smiling out at you from our yearly holiday card, taken on an idyllic beach, you’ll see six happy faces of a family clutching each other with love. Every year I schedule a family photo shoot to get that picture. Every year we get one. I mean JUST ONE. Out of the hundreds of pictures the photographer snaps, there is usually only one photograph where we are all happy, and looking presentable enough to send out to everyone we know. The rest, the outtakes, tell a different story. They tell the truth behind all those happy smiling family photo cards you get in the mail each year. If you have a family of your own, with small children, and have been through this process, you know what I’m talking about. They are much more work than the ease conveyed in the final photo.

Outtakes from back when we only had two kids to wrangle!

Photo by Odessa Cozzolino

It begins at home hours before we leave. I run around and pull together complimentary outfits for everyone. Each year I come up against protests about the outfits from the girls as though I had asked them to be tarred and feathered. The boys have usually outgrown what I’ve laid out, since they wear their white button down dress shirts so infrequently, and they can’t stand having to change outfits. The kids complain and drag their feet, and it takes much shouting and cajoling to get everyone in the car. By this point I have usually given up on the complimentary outfits, and the neat hair. Around this time I may even be reduced to shouting something childish like “Fine! I don’t care what the rest of you look like in the picture as long as I look good!” As we drive to the beach, my husband is getting cranky due to all the bickering and back talk. He questions the need for the professional family photo, and usually chooses this moment to find out what it is costs. Now my husband and I are bickering too. I try to remind him that the outcome will be worth it. When we arrive at the beach, I am already apologizing to the photographer for our motley state. As we begin to try to pose, at least one child is freezing and miserable. We bribe, threaten and tickle to get the desired simultaneous smiles from all four kids. Last year we added our, as yet untrained dog to the chaos. He was kicked out of the family photo after about 5 minutes for stepping on one of the kids and making them cry. Once again, we ultimately got the shot. Just one (almost) perfect photo of our precious family, and the dog even made it in. Having that one picture that captures the moment in time is so worth all the trouble we go through to get it. We cherish the time line of our growing family that we now have, and we can laugh when we scan back over the years of our family pictures, knowing the chaos that went into capturing them. In turn we love getting our friends holiday cards with pictures of their kids each year, and look forward to seeing how our friends families have grown as well. Just for the record, the smiling faces don’t fool us, we know what may have gone into getting that happy family picture!

 

This post was revised from a version previously posted on www.amomknowsbest.com

 

Jun17

Remembering My Dad On Father’s Day

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Remembering My Dad On Father’s Day

A few years back I bought some Concord grapes at the market.   I hadn’t tasted them in years and surprised myself  as the flavorful berry burst in my mouth and I burst into tears.   When I was a kid my father had cultivated Concord grapevines up the side of our garage.  Apparently my memory of him was intrinsically intertwined with the taste that burst forth from inside that grape.  Since he passed away when I was 13 I am left with gauzy recollections…much like peering out from behind the bee nets we would wear to help harvest honey from his beehives.   He was a beekeeper, among other things.  As a physician and small plane pilot, he had served as a flight surgeon in the Army.   He was a wood-worker, a craftsman, and gardener.  He was the father who had nurtured me until I became a teenager, and then was gone.

Me and my dad

As an adult I realize now,  that I missed out on truly getting to know him as a person, as only grown children can know their parents.  My insight into the man he was comes from the clues I collected over the years.  An eccentric for sure, to house 5 stacked beehives in an urban ¼ acre backyard.  I remember him reading constantly, many books and periodicals at the same time, and the thousands of books in our home were a testament to his love of them.  I discovered the mysterious root of my wanderlust when I found his massive collection of adventure travel books.  He was an armchair traveler, and that somehow planted a seed that then took me around the world.

I do remember the feeling of missing the security that having a father allows you.  Some umbrella of protectiveness shut with his loss;  I so envied those who had that.  Truth be told, I still do.  A father’s strong love is unique and irreplaceable.

In time,  I was fortunate to gain an amazing father-in-law.  He is also a renaissance man, a physicist, artist and author.  Most importantly, he is father to my husband, also a renaissance man in his own right, and an incredible father to our own four kids.  I can see how my father-in-laws’ influence and brilliance nurtured my husband and my equally amazing sister-in-law.  With the advent of our own children, these two fathers in my life give us so much to celebrate on Father’s Day.  I am incredibly grateful for the presence and influence of an remarkable father and grandfather in my children’s’ lives.

My oldest daughter is now thirteen, the age I was when my own dad passed away.  My husband and I marvel at that fact.  I try to see my thirteen-year-old self in her, and reach back to find those memories of that age to peer through her lens.  I wonder at  how we are shaped by our parents in childhood as if through osmosis, only become aware of some of those influences, as we become parents ourselves.  As we prepare to celebrate Father’s Day, no matter where your father is , or what your relationship may be, take this day to cherish just having had him in this world and in your life.

These days when I eat Concord grapes I know what to expect ,and I let my beautiful, gauzy memories flood back in.

 

A different version of this post previously appeared on www.amomknowsbest.com 

Jun11

5 Top Safety Tips For Kids In Summer

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5 Top Safety Tips For Kids In Summer

A few years back, sitting by the side of a neighbor’s pool, as the kids frolicked with their friends, I learned a little something about drowning.  Other moms were standing by the edge; some with their feet on the top step in the water.  We were all right there, alternately chatting and watching the kids.  One of the older girls in the pool grabbed what she thought was the hair of the life size Barbie doll they had been playing with moments before, and pulled her up from the bottom of the pool.  She was shocked to find one of her little neighbors instead.  The little girl coughed, and reached for her mother as she started to cry.  Apparently she had just walked right into the pool, not realizing she couldn’t swim, and had SILENTLY sank to the bottom. No splashing, no screams; not like in the movies.  It was eerily silent, and we had been right there.  The whole scene took place in an instant.  We had just witnessed what a real drowning would look like. We were all in shock, and acutely aware of the serendipity that the older girl had decided to play with the doll at that instant, in doing so she had unwittingly saved a life.

Summer is a magical time of year for children, and filled with opportunities for amusement. By knowing what to watch out for as we head into school vacation we can help to keep our children safe while they enjoy their summertime fun. Between the months of May and August unintentional injury deaths peak for children under 14 years old.  Below are the top five culprits that parents need to be aware of, and the proper precautions to take to protect kids, and enjoy summer safely.

1.Drowning.

Nearly 9 out of 10 fatal events occur during a brief lapse in supervision.  A child can drown in a matter of seconds, as I learned in the frightening lesson above.  My kids spent their years learning to swim looking like little Michelin men.  At least I knew they wouldn’t sink!

2.Bicycle Injuries.

The most common injuries are broken bones, but head injuries can be life threatening.  A helmet is the single most effective safety device for reducing the severity of head injuries and the likelihood of death following a bicycle crash.  Even if your kid falls and hits their head in your own driveway it can be just as serious.

3.Falls.

Falls are the most common summertime injury to send kids to the hospital, trampolines and playground equipment are top culprits.  Toddlers are most at risk for falls from windows.

4.Motorized Vehicle Accidents.

Although the summer is generally a more relaxed time of year, car safety should be followed in the same way as the rest of the year.  Teenagers are responsible for a large percentage of all motor vehicle accidents.

5.Burns.

In younger kids these are usually cooking burns or water burns, in older kids campfires and fireworks.

I would love to still be able to dress my kids in those protective floating bubble suits as I did when they were little, but  I’m pretty sure they would not stand for it now.  As parents if we make sure kids are actively supervised when in or around water, and keep them protected with appropriate safety gear we can give them the best odds at a safe and enjoyable summer!

 

 

 

An alternate version of this post was  seen previously on www.amomknowsbest.com

Jun4

(RED)RUSH TO ZERO

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(RED)RUSH TO ZERO

Photo by Elizabeth Atalay

1,000 babies are born every day with HIV.  By the year 2015 that number could come close to zero.  That is the goal of  (RED), and until June 10th you can take part in the (RED) RUSH TO ZERO campaign to help make that happen!  Check out the (RED) RUSH TO ZERO website to find out ten things you can do through June 10th to contribute. Two easy steps I am planning to take today to get started are to visit Starbucks  like I love to do, and check in on my foursquare account, which will then automatically donate a dollar to The Global Fund!  Then I am going do a little shopping on-line and pick a (RED) product to purchase, which will also donate to the (RED) RUSH TO ZERO campaign. Both actions are easy and fun for me to do, and it makes me feel good to know that the money I spend today on things I would buy anyway, will go towards such an important global cause.  If you need another good reason to take a look at how some of your favorite brands are getting involved, Father’s Day is coming up soon (I’m thinking the Dr. Dre headphones look pretty cool for dad)! 

 

 

You can track (RED) Money at work in Africa. To date, over $190 Million has been contributed to the Global Fund to fight HIV/AIDS (from (RED) partners and events). *100% goes to programs on the ground via the Global Fund-supported HIV/AIDS programs in 6 African countries: Ghana, Lesotho, Rwanda, South Africa, Swaziland, and Zambia. Over 14 Million people have been reached by programs (RED) supports.

Jun3

Kitty Cat Moth

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Kitty Cat Moth

 It’s funny what freaks kids out sometimes!  My daughter was just on her way outside to play when she began to screech with fear.  I ran out to see what was attacking her, and found her staring down at a tiny moth. As she clung to me she explained that it had landed close to her face, and looked just like a tiny kitty cat staring at her. She was terrified of it.  I tried to stifle my laugh as she clung to me with true fear and I tried to soothe her.  That was years ago and every now and then we’ll see the same type of moth and point it out to each other and say, “look there’s a kitty cat moth”  and we laugh. So when this Kitty Cat moth lingered on our kitchen window the other day, I had to photograph it to share with you. (Yikes! This close-up really highlights how dirty my window is!)